Too Late
by Serenity Moonshine
Summary: It's too late. . . . . . .Remus looks over some memoirs. . . . A story of mourning, grief, unrequited love and a letter that came 16 years too late. One-shot. please R & R!


**Too Late**

**Standard Disclaimer Applies**

**Summary: **Remus looks over some memoirs......A story of mourning, grief, unrequited love........or not, and a letter that came 16 years too late. One-shot. please R & R!

**A/N **Well, I thought of this idea at 11:30 at night while trying to sleep. Oh well.......it's not like I have any control of inspiration.

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**Too Late**

Remus Lupin sat at his bed holding a box. He had found that box while looking through some of Lily's and James's old things. _Lily._ He felt a pang in his heart just thinking of her. It had been so long...but he pushed the memory back, to where it belonged.

Taking a deep breath and summoning up his courage he gingerly untied the ribbon on top of the old broom box. The first thing he saw was an old photo album. He smiled suddenly, as he recognised the present he had given her all that time ago. Carefully, so not to damage the pictures, he opened the delicate book.

It was filled with photos from Hogwarts, back in the school days. The first photo was from the very first day, on the Hogwarts Express. A young Remus and Lily smiled up at the camera, happily, though nervously. He grinned when he remembered that very first day that they had met, when she was a young and very anxious Muggle-born, and he was not much more then that. They had become fast friends almost immediately, and had chatted animatedly before posing for a photo, for a budding photographer in 6th year.

He had also made friends with some other boys in his year level. Sirius, James and Peter were his best friends, and they had all hung out together. Now he was the only one left. Out of them all, only he survived this far.

With a sigh he closed the album and leant back on his bed, reminiscing on all the good times that they had had together. His fondest memories were at that school and it really was the best part of his life.

Thinking back on that time, he encountered a slightly sadder memory.

Lily...

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He had liked her from the start.

_The way her eyes lit up when she smiled. The way her nose crinkled when she thought deeply. Everything about her..._

He knew that she liked him back.

_He could tell by the way that she looked at him. He'd always been perceptive... _

She'd even told him how she had felt.

"_Remus...I-I really like you"...._

But he turned her down. For a friend. For James.

"_Oh Lily...I can't.......I just can't..". _

And Lily and James had gotten together. He was fine on the outside...

_But his heart broke a little moreevery time he saw them together..._

Slowly they had grown closer...

_And slowly he had gotten over it..._

Lily had forgotten...

_So he did too..._

They had gotten married...

_When he saw her at the altar, he realized the truth. He loved her. More than anything. But he'd never be with her. He'd never have her love...not anymore..._

He had buried his feelings underneath a mask .

_He pretended not to care, and didn't show all the hurt he felt in his heart..._

They had a son. a beautiful son...

_A son that reminded him everyday of what he had given up, in the name of friendship...._

Then one day, he heard that she was dead...

_His world shattered. But he was too used to the cold mask of indifference he wore to really know what he was feeling..._

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A tear leaked out of the corner of his eye as he remembered all that happened all that time ago. He sighed and sat up again, intent on examining the other contents of the box, once again slipping into the old habit, hiding from his feelings – his love, his hurt, his heartbreak.

There was only an old crinkly envelope left in the box. He read the front and was very surprised to see that it was addressed to the most unlikely person - to **him.** He opened it tentatively, suddenly feeling edgy. He frowned when he saw it was written in a neat slanted cursive – Lily's writing. He began to read, slowly and carefully...

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_Dear Remus,_

_There's something I need to tell you. Something that I've been hiding from you forever, just because I was scared. I'm finally going to gather up the courage to write this letter, even though I might not even owl it to you. I still have to write it. I should have wrote it long ago. _

_Remus, I love you. More then anything, more then **everything.** _

_I know I never told you, but only because I knew that you couldn't love me back. Why should you? You were perfect. You were faultless. You were my everything. My best friend. My confidante. My first love. And my only love. And I? I was just…me._

_I need you to know just how much I loved you. I loved you enough to wait 10 years. I loved you enough to marry a man I never loved, just for you. I loved you enough to give a man a son, which should've been yours. _

_I might not survive these days. But I hope that one day you'll read this and know this - _

_I love you. Always have, always will..._

_Don't forget me,  
__  
Lily_

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As he finished reading the letter, the emotional shield that constantly surrounded him cracked, and he began to sob.

_For a lost love._

_For a wasted life._

_For unnecessary heart-break._

_For her._

_Lily._

And then, his grief grew more , when he realized…

_He could have saved her. _

_If he had just told her how he felt. _

_If he hadn't been afraid._

_They could have lived happily ever after._

_But they didn't._

Fresh tears cascaded down his weary face and streamed from hiseyes, so unused to this kind of torture.

Abruptly he stopped. He knew there was nothing he could do. He couldn't mourn anymore. He had a life to live – people he had to be strong for. He couldn't dwell in the past anymore.

_Besides..._the voice in the back of his head whispered....

_It's too late........_

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**A/N **Well, that was pretty interesting. For me to write anyway. I hope you enjoyed reading it though....

Please Read and Review, I'd really appreciate it......especially if you have any advice....thanks for reading this far though!


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